English Reflection - Shawn Tan (18)

What are your thoughts and feelings about being depression, loneliness, heartbreaks, being different from your peers, and having to put up a front? How do/would you deal with some of these issues.


To be frank, I feel rather depressed when reading this book because it made me feel that I was something I didn’t know I was, like suffering from depression. I always thought that there were nothing wrong with being sad for a period of time about some things as long as you get back on your feet afterwards. But according to the advice that this book provided, the symptoms of having depression, it makes realize that what I thought was right might be wrong and it horrifies me, I might have depression?!

I don’t like the feeling of being alone to begin with, much less loneliness. But the sad fact of life is that what you hate or dislike may still happen to you regardless of what, and loneliness did caught up with me and even gave me a smack in my face. I felt betrayed, angry and even feeling I never had — empty. It all happened because I tried to expect the un-expectable, or rather try to find out the little secrets which people whom I considered best friends forever hid from me between themselves. So to deal with it, I learned to let go and not hold it to dearly to myself or else it would affect me too much.

Nobody likes heartbreaks, literally or emotionally, including me myself. Reasons being, it just hurts too much often being unbearable to the victim. You don’t have to experience heartbreak to be able to feel it because the impact is so overbearing that as long as you see people around you experiencing it, you mood would automatically tune dull because it’s just human nature. This is so much I can describe about heartbreaks because I don’t know what to say anymore...

Actually being different from my peers doesn’t really affect me that much, probably because I am pretty much another normal kid and I cannot understand the pain of being different. But, at the same time, I also don’t understand why people hate being different. Because, to me, I find it rather cool being different, it’s being unique. Let me state an example — Peter Parker, Spiderman, is different from his peers. It doesn’t mean he is inferior or cannot do the same things his peers does. although he is different from his peers, he still managed to date mary jane and even save the world. Because he is different, he is special, he is a superhero. So, it doesn’t matter if you are different from your peers. It’s just being unique and I don’t think I mind being different... I guess?

The first and the last thing you would probably do is probably putting up a front. Why? Reason simply being you hate the feeling of being weak, inferior or feeble and putting up a front allows you to seem strong, powerful and all-mighty. Putting up a front comforts your soul, somehow, someway. Hence, everyone puts up a front. But the different thing is that different people puts up different degree of act. Some is just so flimsy that it would collapse whereas others deceives even the keenest eyes. I feel that the only way to remove these layers of acts is acceptance. We need to feel accepted for who we are to be comfortable. Only comfort can diminishes the battle cry within you, and once your battle spirit drops, you cover would be blown. So the root of all emotions is actually the Society...