Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Thesis Statement

Please upload your thesis statement to the earlier task on Topic Sentences and Supporting Statements as a comment to this post. Thanks!

44 comments:

  1. School uniforms should be banned as it creates a stereotype in which the public sees every students as an image of a certain school and not as an individual and this poses as a problem because their voice may not be heard.

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  2. The use of school uniforms is not to be encouraged as they restrict the physical activity of students in school as they are not made of materials that speed up the drying of sweat, bringing on huge inconvenience, discomfort when one is engaged in vigorous activities and the lost of concentration during lessons.

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  3. School Uniform should be banned as it reflects badly on the attitude of students, which affects the school image if seen that students lack self-confidence and self esteem.

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  4. School uniforms should not be banned as it provides identification, bring up a sense of belonging and individuality for students in the school.

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  5. School uniforms should be banned from schools as there are many controversies regarding this issue.

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  6. School uniforms are uncomfortable due to their inability to absorb enough sweat and their collars, some of which irritate skin.

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  7. School uniforms are mass produced and do not show the students uniqueness and creativity.

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  8. School uniform is uncomfortable, tight and stuffy because of the materials used, which does not dry up the perspiration. The requirement to tuck in also causes it to be uncomfortable and tight.

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  9. The school uniform gives the sense of identity to students and help them to be more responsible and disciplined as people will automatically relate them to their school.

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  10. School Uniforms should be banned as home clothes will be more comfortable.

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  11. Thesis Statement : School Uniforms, banned, will have a huge impact on student to improve their lives and attention span in class

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  12. School uniforms should not be banned in schools as they serve as means of identification, reflects school pride and helps students develop their sense of belonging.

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  13. School uniforms should not be banned as they can instill discipline in the wearer and allows schools and their students to be identified easily by the public.

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  14. School uniforms should be banned, as students customize their uniform daily, like folding their socks, to suit their individual preference.

    School uniforms are not fashionable, as students like to add other accessories to their outfit, so that they can stand out from the crowd.

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  15. My Thesis Statement: School uniforms should not be banned but be the chosen outfits for students because they enable students to spend more time to strive for academic excellence.


    My Topic Sentence: School uniforms serve as a reminder to students about their responsibilities in school due to their standard designs.


    Lai Ziying

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  16. Uniforms should be banned as they are old in design and hinders the movements of students when they are playing sports during recess or lunch. When they jump, the shirts may get tucked out.

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  17. School uniforms should be banned as it is made from cotton, a material that traps heat in the uniforms, thus it lack air ventilation, and students find it very hot and uncomfortable, even leading to them folding up their sleeves and unbuttoning their uniforms just to allow some air ventilation

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  18. School uniform should be banned because the dress code that governs the school uniform makes it uncomfortable to wear.

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  19. School uniforms should be banned due to its skin-abrasive material and uncomfortable design which restricts movement as it is stiff.

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  20. school uniforms should be banned as they are an inconvenience to students as it is usually restrictive for movement due to the material it is made of.

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  21. School uniforms should be banned, as it will not only take away the creativity of students, but it will also deprive them of comfort due to the lack of air ventilation.

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  22. @ Chengngee: I think you should stop at 'not as an individual'. The rest of your essay will explore why wearing the uniform will restrict self-expession.

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  23. School uniforms should be banned as they are expensive and can be a financial burden to students, especially because the material used is not worth the cost of the uniform.

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  24. @Sue Lun: At one glance, this looks like a topic sentence with brief elaborations. By writing this as your thesis statement, I am assuming that the entire essay is about how uniforms restricts students' physical activities. Am I wrong?

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  25. @Jing Jie: Your thesis statement sounds a tad scandalous. Ask yourself if the your wearing of the SST school uniform really reflects badly on your attitude as a student. I hope not.

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  26. @Jonathan: I think it's a fair enumerative thesis statement It would have been better had you included the 'So what' element in it.

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  27. @Ziqi: What are the areas of controversy? So what?... these are the elements missing in your thesis statement. The big idea is too broad.

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  28. @Joshua: Your stand? When I read this thesis statement, I am predicting that your entire essay is going to be about the discomfort brought about by wearing the uniform. If it is, the scope of your argument is dangerously narrow.

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  29. @Dark Reaper (Luke): Your stand? Otherwise, it is a good attempt.

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  30. @Soh Fan: Besides lacking in a stand, your thesis statement very much looks like a topic sentence. Is your entire essay going to be about the discomfort caused by wearing the uniform? I hope not since that would be too narrow an argument.

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  31. @Master Chef: Your stand? This very much looks like a topic sentence. Please read my comments for Soh Fan.

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  32. @Bryan: Too simple for a thesis statement. So what if home clothes are more comfortable? The subject of your argument is school uniform.

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  33. @Mayur: Besides the grammatical slips and word choice (improve their lives?), your thesis statement is pretty concise.

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  34. @Calvin: Excellent start! Well done.

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  35. @Zhi Chao: Very concise and provides a preview to your entire essay. Good job:)

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  36. @Shamus: This does not look like a thesis statement. More like topic sentences. What is the overarching idea that supports your stand that would also serve as the preview to your essay? it's got to be precise and concise.

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  37. @Ziying: The revised statement looks much better but I would like that you include the 'so what' element to why is the contributing factor to academic excellence. The gap is too wide.

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  38. @Jianhui: This very much looks like a topic sentence with elaborations. I would have written:

    It is my contention that school uniforms should be banned as they are restrictive in various aspects, particularly in movement as well as self-expression.

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  39. @Guangjun: This is not a thesis statement but a topic sentence with elaboration! Please refer to the comments I've made to your friends.

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  40. @Shawn: '...the dress code that governs the school uniform makes it uncomfortable to wear' is a very vague expression. I think what you had intended to say was something like ' ...the nature/design of the school uniform lends itself uncomfortable to be worn'. Even so, I think the scope of your thesis statement is still too narrow. Are you sure that you are going to talk about the uncomfortable aspect of uniforms in your entire essay?

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  41. @Grace: School uniforms should be banned due to its skin-abrasive material and uncomfortable design which restricts movement as it is stiff.

    Comment: Skin-abrasive sounds like an exaggeration. Is your entire essay going to be about this and their uncomfortable designs?

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  42. @Kaichek: school uniforms should be banned as they are an inconvenience to students as it is usually restrictive for movement due to the material it is made of.

    Comments: It is well- written up to the point about inconvenience but after that the so what element is rather narrow. Remember not to narrow down the scope of your thesis statement. iT'S got to be about the overarching argument of your entire essay.

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  43. @Ming Ern: Stop at comfort. Other than that, well written!

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  44. Students should be allowed to wear what they want

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